Every time I'm here in my room, i always remember my exes. I don't know why but my room reminds me of them. Maybe because, here is where i hide every time they call me, maybe because here is where i hid our memories, maybe because, before, we used to say goodnights before we go to sleep. But now, I'm left with no one.
I easily moved on with my 1st ex because someone came along. But with my second ex, for God's sake, until now, i don't know how to move on. Someone, or there are two, no, there's three who tried, but I didn't give them chances because of HIM. It's been a year, not exact, but more than a year, i think, when we part ways. After our first break up, he wants me back and I also want him back, so we're on again, then break, then on. then break, then on, YES, we're christmas LIGHTS! ON and OFF! But, sad to say, we had the LAST BREAK UP. We had no communication for more than 3 months, i think. And you know what he said when we have our communication again, "Finally, napalitan na din kita". Those words broke my heart, into pieces. He kept on comparing me with the girl. Masakit pero i still kept on listening. Then again, i cut our communication. Then it was returned on February.
He told me he has new again. I still listened. But I haven't moved on yet until now. He has a girlfriend. Desperate me, I asked him, "If ever I asked you to leave her and be mine, would you do it?". I wanna know if he still loves me eh. I know it's wrong, but I can't hide what I feel anymore. Telling to my friends won't lessen the pain eh, so I said it to HIM nalang. He said "I'll think of it" and "Mahal ko siya eh". I waited for his answer. Days had passed. At last, he answered. Oh. not yet. He told me that he broke up with her. Then he asked me, "Anong mangyayari kapag sinabi kong OO?", then I said, "I don;t know", and I asked if his answer is really yes then he said "OO". I was shocked. Really shocked. And I was so guilty and sorry for the girl.
After he said yes to my question, many things ran around my mind. "Is he really a changed man?", "Will he hurt me again"?.....and many more. I don't know if he and me should be together again. yes, I love him, But is it enough not to hurt him anymore. I couldn't bear to see him cry again because of me.
I asked God for answers, he never replied.HAHA, funny if he did. But maybe he just showed me. Because the quote "Kung kayo talaga para sa isa't isa, hindi man kayo okay ngayon, magkikita parin kayo sa huli", somewhat like that, echoes in my mind. Maybe that's the answer, iiwan ko nalang sa panahon kung anong mangyayari. God's will be done:-)
