I dont wanna hurt him, but I dont want to fool myself

It started last year, i was joking when I said he was so torpe, he said he wants to prove that he is not. Nagpustahan pa nga kame e. I thought I will win, pero naprove niya na hindi siya torpe. He went with us to mass, then we watched a movie. Then continous yung communication, halos lagi nga kameng nagtatawagan. And mind you, he was the first one whom I had a meal na guy na hindi ko kamaganak na kame lang dalawa ang magkasama. I can feel na medyo nafafall na ako sakanya kaso hindi ako masaya sa nararamdaman ko. Suddenly, i feel so irritated. And that's when I realize na hidi ko pa kaya. I cant love. Im too afraid to fall inlove. I know na syang na yung chance, he loves me so much that he is willing to give up his vicea for me and everything, pero ayoko naman lokohin yung sarili ko.

If he read this, sana malaman niya kung gaano ako kaSORRY sa ginawa ko:-(

revelations on my christmas break.

these are random things on mind. haha :)

1st: NIKKO.

- he's been open to me about his feelings for me since,ahhm, idk. haha. basta, ngayon, mas open na siya and hindi na siya nahihiya sakin, and we're starting to bring back the old times. yung dati na friends lang talaga kame :) at namiss ko yun. Alam kong mysterious siya, and I know na isa siya sa mga taong mamahalin ako, kahit anong mangyari.

2nd: ARVIN

- the communication between us is open. We're texting, pero madalang lang. He said na may feelings pa rin siya saken, he even said "true love e". I told him na siguro pag nawala katorpehan niya, baka may pagasa pa na magustuhan ko siya. I don't wanna close the doors, he is kind, and I know the feeling is real, it's been a long time na rin when I found out that he likes me, or I guess loves me. Ayun. so maybe, I may fall in love with him.

3rd: RAMON

- jam told me that he likes me. He's been joking about it since summer, I think. Pero di ako naniniwala. ayun, I like ramon, pero as a friend lang. Never fell in love with him, or just a crush. He is a nice friend :) and just like nikko, hindi kame talo. Friendship weighs more than relationship like bf gf :))

christmas break---over!

in about 14 hours, I'll be going back to manila. I've been going home here in solano, then back to manila for many times already but still, I'm not used to it. I still want plenty of time to stay here. But it's ok, time flies so fast, I know, I won't recognize, I will be back again, here, where I belong :)